Let's Not And Say We Did

I'd like to call these Pet Peeves, but I've never had a pet who irked me in this way, so I'm calling it People Peeves. Things friends and lovers say that peeve. Clearly I attach too much importance to words, tending to take every single alphabet grouping to heart. I don't think I can work it any other way, though.

“I’m taking up too much of your time.”

Why? If you believe what you're saying, then what the hell are you doing that for? That is clearly a manipulation, especially when I give you no indication that you are doing so. Don’t you know yet that if I want to hang up the phone, I have no problems saying so? That if I am ready for you to leave, I can tell you easily that it’s time for you to do so? If you are ready to go or hang up, just say so instead of putting it on me. How old are you?

“Sorry to bother you.”

Another manipulation. You want me to say, “It’s no bother,” to give you reassurance. Because we are friends or acquaintances, I’ll give you the reassurance the first couple of times, but if you continue to say it every time you call, I’m going to stop talking to you eventually, because you annoy the crap out of me.

“I didn’t mean to …”

This is a tricky one, as sometimes we do things that bring up “unintended” consequences. I have to say that if you say that a lot, you won’t say it a lot to me as I won’t be putting myself out to you for long. And I’ll know when you mean to apologize.

“You think you know me, but you don’t.”

Ahhh, the phrase that indicates your long-time partner is hiding something from you and wants you to be astute enough to figure it out instead of coming clean themselves. It’s not good news.

"You have no idea how much I love you."

Well, you know what? It’s because you are doing a damn poor job of showing me. So shut up.