Earlier this year I was happily earning free Southwest Airline coupons by deferring my flight home. I wanted to do that for more than a decade, and finally had the opportunity and made a new friend as well (another story, another day.)
The airline put us in a lovely airport hotel for the night, separate rooms, of course, having diverted us there to get us home the next day. I like nice hotels and usually feel like I'm on vacation when I'm in one. This one was lovely, two king beds, and the bathroom had a freestanding sink on a beautiful piece of furniture with a granite top. Quite lovely, with a bay of mirrors, and I could see all sides of my face while washing up.
There was also a door that had a full-length mirror on the outside. The door opened into the bathroom and when opened, the mirror was opposite the three lovely mirrors behind the sink.
I didn't know it was a trap.
Next morning I got up and headed straight to the shower, which had one of those newer bowed rods so the curtain didn't blow back in. I left the door open so the bathroom wouldn't get fogged up. After my shower I was toweling off in front of the sink, when I saw my bum in the mirror behind me, FULL ON, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ABOUT 20 YEARS. I tried to scream. My mouth was open and my jaw was moving, but no sound came out. I tried to breathe, but no air was getting in.
That bum of mine was whiter than white, flat, wide, doughy, dimply and about two feet lower than the last time I saw it.
It was horrible! (And still is ...)
There was no getting around it, gravity caught me unaware.
After a moment, shock turned to laughter and bouts of hysteria overtook me off and on during the next several days. I promised myself never to scare me like that again.
I recommend, if you're the least bit squeamish, never put yourself in that position. You might not be able to look back on anything ever again.
You could not have been any more descriptive if you tried! I was laughing with you!
ReplyDeleteMy husband, the dear that he is, tells me that my butt looks like another planet or cottage cheese! Nice....so the moral is I don't need full view mirrors to "see" my butt...I get reminded far too often! It's the boob gravity that concerns me...one day I just know that I am going to take off my bra and fall face first when my boobs hit the floor!!!
As an aside: many years ago, we were out and needless to say I had to pee so we stopped, where my now husband, new the ower of a business.....well the ENTIRE bathroom and I do mean ENTIRE bathroom was wall to wall, floor to and including ceiling, mirrors!
Now THAT was definitely a haunted restroom!
ReplyDeleteMy twins are almost to my waist already and I don't have any to speak of, so I'm thinking yours must be close to your knees by now ... gravity is not our friend!
The horror!
ReplyDeleteThankfully, I'm near-sighted.
;-)
I have discovered that push-ups lift the breast more than I could have imaginged. I also know that lunges lift the behind. Needless to say, after reading this at the age of 27, I will stop typing and begin pushing up, and lunging down from here on out!!!!
ReplyDeleteWay to work it, MissMo. You should take a pic (and post it!) and then take one when you are my age (and not post it!).
ReplyDeletePeej: "The light of you is the weight that keeps me here!"