M.J.: Not Black Or White

This documentary, "This Is It," culled from the rehearsals from Michael Jackson’s comeback tour earlier this year, generated strong opinions in my family about his guilt or innocence as a child molester. Those who think him guilty are not interested in seeing the movie and don't apologize for it.

I find myself leaning toward his innocence. None of my family has any way to discern the facts and likely we never will. I believe he suffered at his father’s hands, possibly being unable to have any sex life at all. I think he had a real love for children and animals and just didn’t think it possible anybody could think of him as a child molester because he couldn’t hurt a fly.

I find it sad that he couldn’t recreate a good childhood for himself without people taking advantage of him and torturing him with those unthinkable charges in the hopes of a financial windfall. When I hear someone say, “It’s never too late to have a good childhood,” I think sometimes it is.

Being the genius that M.J. was, I think he also was de-compensated for the genius in other ways, although I’m sure I couldn’t say what those ways were, but I see them in other geniuses, your regular, everyday brilliances, not famous ones.

I really liked “This Is It.”

Michael’s incredible talent came through, of course, and there’s nothing unlikable about that. He definitely is a diva-type, without the meanness and histrionics. He's driven to be a perfectionist and he is so soft-spoken and kind.

I kept looking at his wierd face, which I understand a bit more since his death when I heard he thought of it as “art.” Strange, but I get it somehow, although please do not consider me a proponent of that kind of sculpting! I thought he was beautiful as nature made him. He appeared quite thin, his outfits morphed throughout each song, and I had to keep watching, tapping my foot as much as I could throughout.

The dancing was exceptional, just Michael by himself or the dancers, or a combo. Michael spoke about saving his voice throughout and you could see and hear him doing that throughout the different rehearsals. He also made a couple of jokes. He wanted everyone to be at ease, while trying to get the best out of everyone. He was definitely hands-on, once saying, "I want to hear it how I wrote it," in his nonaggressive manner. The dancers spoke mostly about Michael’s inspiration and how they were amazed they were there with him, clearly all in awe.

Getting a glimpse of how they put that show together was revealing and fun. Some people seemed to be sucking up to Michael (I got to calling him "Michael" in my head during the movie; it did not feel strange) but I got the impression he needed to be looked after, as his mind was busy creating. This documentary didn't try to give you the personal glimpse of Michael—I feel it was intended to show the professional instead—but he is such a force in his quiet perfection that it all felt personal.

I ended up feeling badly that the show will never be performed in front of an audience and that the dancers and singers were left in a sort of limbo, never consummating their hard work by showing the world on stage what they were achieving with this show.

I also felt that the military theme that runs through M.J.'s work, and also sister Janet’s, must hearken back to their childhood and their father’s treatment of them. When Michael did the Jackson 5 bit during rehearsals, it brought me right back to being about 13 years old, sitting on my parents’ bed, watching the little TV on my father’s side, just being mesmerized by their stage show.

Michael is still mesmerizing.